


The Sparrow's Nest

by TerryBalls



Series: What I Did In My Midlife Crisis by Sally Sparrow [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, Lesbian Character, Moon, Near Future, No Smut, Romance, a LOT of atths, atths, no villain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29787738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerryBalls/pseuds/TerryBalls
Summary: Sally Sparrow wants some romance. Fortunately, the TARDIS takes her to a cute wannabe astrophysicist who shows her a new side of life. But can there ever be hanky-panky in the TARDIS? (Yes)
Relationships: Sally Sparrow/Original Female Human Character
Series: What I Did In My Midlife Crisis by Sally Sparrow [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138214





	1. Content

I'm afraid the first "chapter" is all "author's note". Sorry. But don't worry - I'll be putting Chapter 1 (well, I suppose it is Chapter 2) up straight away.

This is a big change of pace. Instead of a plot-heavy story, this one is extremely character-driven and extremely plot-light. I did this partially to develop my abilities, but largely to see if this would get a larger audience. It seems like romance stories are popular, and WLW stories doubly so. I've tried to capture all the best bits of a relationship without being smutty or fetishising.

If you prefer the plotty stuff, then I would recommend Chapter 1, 2, and 7+. The last few chapters do lead into Part 4, which I'm really looking forward to writing. if you're into romance and fluff, then hopefully the whole fic will appeal to you. Some of the middle section is really very indulgent - Sally and her new girlfriend going on dates and hanging out and making plans, while the Doctor gets up to zany schemes in the background.

As ever, bring on the concrit. If you think I'm bad at fluff, please say! If you think I'm good at fluff and should consider doing more, again, please say! I'm not sure what, if anything, I want to do after part 4, so feedback can help shape that.

Thanks so much for reading.


	2. Róisín

“Doctor?” said Sally, somewhat apprehensively. The TARDIS was in flight, and the Doctor was down on a lower deck, apparently in the midst of repairs, while Sally sat on the steps.

“Sally?” said the Doctor, mimicking her rising inflection.

“I was… thank you, for the book spa. It was marvellous. The galleries, the museums, the deserted paradise planets – wonderful. But… could you maybe… Doctor, I want to connect with other people.”

“You can connect with me! Sally Sparrow, what is on your mind?”

“That’s just it, Doctor… I want to connect with someone around my age. And species. And… _eligible_.”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “OK, I see where this is going.” There was a twinkle in his eye and a grin across his face. Oh no. “Come on,” the Doctor said, as he bounded up the stairs past Sally. She followed him up to the main deck of the control room, around the central console. Once again, the Doctor revealed the telepathic circuits.

 _Why is it always telepathy with the Doctor?_ Sally asked herself, but she stuck her hands into the circuits anyway. The TARDIS’s central column began to rise and fall.

“Woah, careful, you could damage something!”

“You said it was like walking down the stairs.”

“It is! But you wouldn’t hop down the stairs blindfolded with both hands tied behind your back. A human could never manage that. Oh well. It seems to have worked out this time. Sally, our aim here is to find _exactly_ the person you need right now.”

“You mean… like a soulmate?”

“There’s no such thing as souls and definitely no such thing as soulmates. There are millions of people across space and time that you could be extremely happy with. However, nonetheless, it is true that there are a small number of individuals who will make you unusually extremely happy at a given point in your life. For most people, there’s almost no chance of meeting them at the right time. But you’ve got me, and I’ve got the TARDIS. So…”

The central column stopped moving. They had landed. They left the TARDIS. It had brought them to a street that Sally recognised as distinctly British – English shops, cars driving on the left, and paving stones that couldn’t be anywhere else. By the same token, it wasn’t recognisable as any _specific_ British place. The buildings were taller and denser than Sally would expect, and there was nothing that immediately gave away the city to Sally’s untrained eye. The weather was brisk and overcast, which could be anywhere in the British Isles at any time of year. The café they were stood outside was not one of the chains that Sally was familiar with, but its name – _Simply Coffee_ – was the most generic name possible. The Doctor, of course, knew exactly where they were.

“Manchester. September 2067. Hamilton Academicals are top of the SPL, but Kilmarnock will go on to win the league. We’ve just missed the hundredth anniversary of the summer of love. Last year was the hundredth anniversary of England’s first World Cup win and the thousandth anniversary of the Battle of Hastings. And November 2063 was the hundredth anniversary of…”

“Doctor, who are we here to see?”

“… the Kennedy assassination. Sorry,” he said, noticing the alarm on Sally’s face, “just finishing my previous thought. Honestly, I think you should just do whatever you want. In theory, the TARDIS has put us down in the most natural place for you to meet this _someone_.”

“But… it could be any of these people, rushing past!”

“If it is, then they’ll bump into you. Don’t worry about it. Just relax and have faith in the TARDIS. It found Barry, didn’t it?”

“In that case,” said Sally, “I would like a coffee. It’s chilly.”

They went in the coffee shop. There was a short line. Sally scanned the board above the counter to try and select her order. The options were not quite the ones she was used to. It seemed like she was limited to cappuccino with her choice from a wide range of milks.

“Hi, can I take your order?” said a woman’s voice with an accent that was somewhere between New York and London. Sally looked at the server and was momentarily struck dumb. Her server was absolutely gorgeous. She had dark brown hair, and big blue doe eyes, and the loveliest smile Sally had ever seen. Her name badge said _Róisín._

“Yes, hello,” said the Doctor. “I will have a venti skinny decaf quad caramel no-whip iced hazelnut macchiato with extra cream.”

“I can give you a decaf hazelnut cappuccino with extra cream?”

“The TARDIS must have made a mistake,” the Doctor whispered to Sally, “nothing good can ever happen in a place as terrible as this.”

“I-I’ll have a cappuccino, thanks,” said Sally. “Sorry about my dad, he’s a little stuck in his ways.”

“No problem!” said Róisín, flashing a dazzlingly white smile. Sally’s heart fluttered away in her chest. She told herself that Róisín was just being polite, that it was her job to make customers feel appreciated, but she couldn’t stop herself crushing hard on the girl. They shuffled to the side while the next customer gave their order to the next server.

“Decaf hazelnut, extra cream, and a cappuccino?” Róisín announced. The Doctor and Sally stuck their hands up. Róisín beamed at them and handed over the cups. “Have a great day, gorgeous,” she said, with a wink.

“You too,” said the Doctor, tapping his psychic paper against the card reader, and he hurried Sally out of the shop. “What a waste of time. Best thing about the 2020s is the options for coffee, and now you’ve gone and regressed back to the 90s. Humanity’s capacity for depravity never fails to surprise me.”

Sally could only mumble agreement. She was still stunned by her encounter with Róisín. She was used to unwanted attention from men – it was rare for a day to go by without a stranger trying to flirt with her – but to her surprise, she found that she _liked_ Róisín’s affection.

“We’ll have to try again,” said the Doctor, who had already downed his coffee and thrown his cup in the recycling and was now unlocking the TARDIS. “Sometimes the TARDIS gets things wrong, but if we give it a few goes then eventually she’ll find someone you like.”

Sally took a sip of her coffee. It was very good, rich and aromatic. Then she had a proper look at the cup. “Doctor,” she said, and she turned it towards the Doctor, who was stood in the threshold of the TARDIS.

_Hey cutie – call me. 07700900796. Róisín._

“Oh. Oh. _Oh_. That’s the last time I doubt you, dearest,” he said to the blue box.

“What do I do?” said Sally.

“Well, you call her…” said the Doctor.

“I can’t call her now, she just served me, she’s at work…”

“Then it’s a good job we have a time machine,” said the Doctor, stepping into the TARDIS. Sally followed, and they hopped forward. It was dark. Sally pulled out her mobile – remarkably, it still had signal and credit. She called Róisín’s number.

“Hello?” It was definitely her, the mid-Atlantic accent was a giveaway. She sounded a little tired.

“Róisín? You served me earlier and gave me your number…”

“Oh, hey, gorgeous, I didn’t think you were going to call!” Róisín had immediately brightened up.

“Yeah, er, hi, my name’s Sally… I was wondering if you’d like to go for coffee?”

“Well, I work in a coffee shop, and it’s late, so how about dinner?”

“Di- dinner. Yes. Dinner would be great. Where do you want to go?”

“How about Marco’s for 7:30?”

“Marco’s, 7:30, sounds good. Looking forward to seeing you.” Sally had butterflies in her stomach. She felt like an excited teenager. Was this what love was supposed to feel like? Sally had spent years living with Larry because it felt like the natural thing to do, but she hadn’t been truly happy. She’d felt safe around Larry. He was fundamentally a good man. But if Sally had known that feeling like _this_ had been an option, she would have left him a long time ago.

The Doctor showed Sally to the TARDIS wardrobe, and she sorted through the clothes to find something to wear for her date. Almost everything there was too masculine. She recognised the suit the Doctor had been wearing on the DVD Easter Eggs all those years ago, but for every suit there was a gaudy number or something with too many question marks. She did find women’s clothes after a while, but most of them were either too small or for someone both taller and thinner than Sally. There were period costumes, but that seemed inappropriate. There were clothes that were probably intended to be practical, but Sally couldn’t work out what purpose you’d ever actually need them in. And just as Sally was about to give up and go in what she was wearing, she found the perfect ensemble.

The TARDIS landed in exactly the right spot, outside the only restaurant in the city called “Marco’s”. The Doctor had tripled-checked that they had also got exactly the right time. Sally swaggered out wearing a brown faux-leather jacket, plain white t-shirt, and an emerald midi skirt. She strode into the restaurant. She was feeling very nervous, but, well, if hallucinating Esmerelda Weatherwax had taught her anything it was that confidence was 90% bravado. She stood by the door of the restaurant as a waiter approached her.

“Hi,” said Sally. “I’m supposed to be meeting someone here, she’s possibly the prettiest woman in the world, have you seen her?”

The waiter smiled at her. “I know who you mean. I wanted to seat her in the window, but she asked to be placed upstairs. She described you the same way you described her.”

Sally’s heart did a somersault. She knew Róisín found her attractive, but this was going better than she had possibly expected. The waiter showed Sally upstairs and to a table where Róisín was perusing the drinks menu. She looked up and beamed at Sally, standing and giving her a hug hello. 

“I’m so glad you came,” Róisín said.

“There was no way I wouldn’t.”

They sat and drank a rich-bodied Burgundy that Róisín picked herself.

“So, _Róisín_ ,” said Sally, rolling the name along her tongue as she swirled her wine in the glass. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, there’s not a huge amount to tell,” said Róisín. “I was born near Toronto. Went to McGill and majored in astrophysics…”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Oh yeah. I’m not just a pretty face.”

“So how did you end up in Manchester?”

“Well, my mom was British, so I had always thought about studying here. Did a Masters at the University of Manchester, and now I’m working as a barista while I wait for opportunities. What about you?”

“I did a literature degree. My parents both died when I was in my early 20s. Spent a few years floating around and living off the inheritance, started an antiquarian bookshop, it failed, and since then I’ve been travelling.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

“Thanks. It was a long time ago, and they were quite old. I was adopted in infancy, and they were quite a bit older than most parents.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it sucked.”

“The guy you’re travelling with…”

“Oh, er…” This was already not going well – mentioning dead parents on a first date? Sally was kicking herself. She didn’t want to lie to Róisín, but she really didn’t want to explain the Doctor. “He’s… he’s my biological father. I reached out after… well. He’s a total riot. Would have made a terrible father but a fantastic uncle. I see a lot of myself in him.”

“I’m sure you’d make a fantastic uncle.”

Sally laughed.

“So, travelling. Been to anywhere special?”

“Oh, here and there. Lots of culture. Libraries and theatres and gigs, that sort of thing.”

“That must be really nice.”

“Oh, it is. I’ve really learned a lot about myself. Don’t know how long it’s going to go on for, but don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to stop. And I don’t know what I’d do if I did.” She paused for a second in thought. “What about you? What are your plans?”

“Well, first and foremost I want to get a job in astrophysics, somehow,” said Róisín. “I’m not fussy right now, but ideally I’d like to work at the Shackleton Crater.”

“The Shackleton Crater?”

“You know – the permanent Moonbase?”

Sally tried to keep the surprise off her face. There was a permanent Moonbase? In 2021, it seemed like humanity had lost interest in the Moon. If people talked about space, they tended to talk about Mars, which was new and exciting and also impossibly remote. The Moon was very 20th Century, not the sort of thing that it seemed there was any long-term interest in. “Oh, of course. That would be pretty incredible.”

“Yeah… yeah, it would. But if that’s not an option… I don’t know. Any job that uses my skills will do. Settle down, raise a normal Earth family in a normal Earth apartment in a normal Earth city.”

“You make marital bliss sound so sad.”

“Oh, I like sad. It’s-“

“- _Happy for deep people.”_ They said it together. It was almost imperceptible, but Sally was sure that Róisín licked her lips.


	3. The Doctor Talks

Sally was relieved to see that the TARDIS was still sat outside Marco’s the next morning. She crept inside. There was a bright flash of sparks below decks. The Doctor was hanging in a swing, wearing welding goggles and adjusting the TARDIS’s wiring. Sally walked down the staircase to him.

“Hi, Doctor,” she said.

“Sally!” said the Doctor, raising his goggles. “How was your date?”

“Well, I only just got back…”

“And… erm… how long were you gone?” The Doctor’s eyes widened in realisation. “Oh. Oh. Are you trying to do the walk of shame?”

Sally tried to object, but only nonsense came out of her mouth.

“For what it’s worth, Sally, there is no need for anyone to be ashamed in here. Well, there is, but not for that reason. There is nothing wrong with sexual relations where everyone gives full, informed, and enthusiastic consent.” He paused. “You’ll forgive me, but I sometimes lose track of the development of human attitudes towards sexuality. Are you experiencing shame?”

“I’m not, no. Not about sex, anyway. I mean, I would prefer to keep my private life private, in general, but that’s not because I feel ashamed.”

“Right, good,” said the Doctor. “I won’t pry, it’s just… it’s important to me that you feel comfortable and confident in who you are. Your species has a lot of hang-ups that I can’t claim to fully understand, and I want you to know that they are nonsense.”

“Thanks Doctor,” said Sally. She sat down on the stairs and watched the Doctor work. It was noticeable that he paid a lot of care and attention to the wires and fixtures he was adjusting, gently easing one connector out of its socket and into another. It was almost tender. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Doctor, but… how do relationships work for your people?”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “It’s a long and contradictory story. Frankly the contradictions are the best bits.” He looked her in the eye. “I don’t mind spelling out the broad strokes for you, but we might want to find somewhere more comfortable to sit.”

***

Sally was very glad for the glass of gin and tonic that the Doctor had poured her. He was sipping on a glass of single malt as he recounted his romantic history, which seemed to consist of a string of forbidden loves, multiple personal histories being entirely rewritten, and whole grandchildren who may have actually been hallucinations.

“So obviously that was quite traumatic for all three of us,” he said, lounging on one of the sofas in the TARDIS drawing room. “After Jamie I didn’t kiss anyone for several thousand years, in which time I regenerated four times. Then when I regenerated the fifth time I overcompensated a bit and immediately started kissing people all over the place. That was also the first time I stopped having a stable gender identity. I slept with my friend Benny and found that I actually quite liked sex in that body. I married this young woman called Scarlette largely for ritualistic purposes, but she knew what she was getting into. Fitz was very special to me, and Charley. I met Susan a couple of times, and in the first she and David had adopted a few children, which makes sense because humans and Time Lords can’t interbreed, but then the second time the adopted children were gone and instead she had a son called Alex. Then Alex died and I stopped wanting to kiss people. Then I was under the impression that I had committed genocide against my entire species, but it turned out that was about as far from true as possible, but in the mean time I _may_ have started kissing humans again – that’s about when you met me, actually. Erm, then I married Elizabeth I, and Marilyn Monroe, and then last but not least, there was River Song.”

“OK, so… your life is very long and confusing.”

“That’s a fair summary.”

“How did you maintain relationships with Elizabeth or Marilyn when you were travelling through time?”

“Well, I mostly didn’t. Soon enough the tide of history would rise and wipe me away from their lives.”

“Is the tide of history a rhetorical device or something I should actually be worried about?”

“A rhetorical device. There’s no tide to the web of time, but, well, time travel is a lot like footprints in the sand. When you time travel you inevitably affect the course of history, including your own. The things you have done are gradually wiped away. They stay in your memory, of course, but not in the memories of the people who you haven’t been travelling with. The TARDIS – or any time machine - is like the eye of the storm. It stays calm while the universe rages.”

“And that must make sustaining a relationship… pretty hard.”

“Yes, I think that’s fair,” the Doctor said. He glanced upwards. “It was a bit different with River, of course, because we were both time travellers, independent of each other. That made things complicated and caused a lot of drama, but it made the relationship fundamentally _tenable_. I suppose it used to be the same with the Master. She calls herself Missy now, which seems unnecessary to me, but I respect her choice. When only one of you is a time traveller, the relationship effectively has to end when you travel away. I’ve had people who travelled with me while their partner stayed away – never worked. Only time it did work was when Amy and Rory were both travelling with me.”

“So… I mean, surely there’s wiggle room? I still remembered you when you showed up at my place.”

“Well, yes, but I was a very different person. The experience of travelling with me tends to change people. Would you go back to Larry now?”

“No,” said Sally, surprised at how forceful she sounded. “Does that mean that every time you get in this thing, you’re leaving the whole world behind? Doesn’t that drain you, emotionally?”

“It’s really not that different to leaving your house and catching a bus. When you come back, the people you live with have been changed by the day they have had, and so have you. That seems ordinary and acceptable to you, because that’s what human brains are shaped to deal with. My brain deals with the tide of history in the same way.”

“But it _is_ different, Doctor. Sure, _you’re_ used to it, but _we’re_ not. It’s like if I shared my house with creatures who only lived for a few minutes, and hundreds of generations passed during a day out. Catching the bus might not mean much to me, but it would be the stuff of legend to them.”

“And would you sit around worrying about generations of dead mayflies, or would you crack on with your life anyway?” said the Doctor. Sally was ready to retort, but the Doctor put down his empty glass and sprung to his feet, talking at machine-gun pace. “This conversation is making me seem much less friendly than I really am. I once took Enid Blyton to this paradise planet with no carnivores. It was basically a forest where every creature completely trusted every other creature. Marvellous place. It didn’t stop her being racist but it did make me feel less stressed at having to spend a day with Enid Blyton. Let’s check it out!”

“No!”

Sally hadn’t meant to shout, but it got the point across.

“You want to stay here?” said the Doctor. “It’s the twenty-first century. Tolerable, but not enjoyable.” Sally looked down. “It’s the girl, isn’t it? Oh, aho! It is! And to think, you wanted to leave because she only made one type of coffee! Always have faith in my TARDIS, Sally!”

“Doctor…”

“You’re right, sorry, no more teasing. But it is her, right?”

“Yes, it’s her,” said Sally. “And it isn’t just that she’s pretty, or good in bed, although that probably helps. She just completely surpasses my expectations of what a first date could be like. She’s sweet and funny and adorably clever. I feel like I am already her best friend. It feels really incredible to be around her. She sees the beauty in everything and delights in tiny surprises. She’s got these big ambitions for life and I want to watch her accomplish them. Or at least have a couple of extra dates.”

“OK, I get that. It happens. I’ve left people behind before, when they fell in love. But as I’ve got older, that has seemed more and more irresponsible. If things go wrong for them, they’re trapped on a strange planet, in a strange time, with no way of getting out. It’s not like moving to Australia, it’s like… in terms you’d understand, it’s like moving to Mars. No way back. And as the experienced time traveller, I have a duty to let you make a fully informed decision.”

“So, what, you’re going to take me back to 2021?” Sally said, a note of desperation in her voice.

“No,” said the Doctor. “You’re going to keep going on dates with… was it Róisín? You can use the TARDIS as your home base. If you decide you want us to leave, we can. And if, after time passes, you’re certain that you want to stay with Róisín, then and only then will I leave here without you.”

“Thank you.” That was a plan Sally could work with.


	4. Menzies

If she was going to spend half her time – and possibly all her time – swanning around in the future, Sally had to get her finances in order. She had left a few thousand pounds in her bank. Her debts were significantly bigger, so the balance had probably been seized. She tried not to think about the debt. If she was lucky, then maybe that money had been accruing interest for the last 45 years. To find out, she’d need to access it.

That was slightly tricky. Her bank cards had all expired, as had her driver’s license. Without an address history for the last three years – or even the last forty – she thought she was stuck. Fortunately, the Doctor allowed her to give an address he maintained on Baker Street in London, and had even provided her with evidence that she had actually lived there. There obviously weren’t any laws against fraud on Gallifrey, which explained how the Doctor got away with that name.

Sally successfully renewed her driver’s license – the Doctor used a time stamp to make the application arrive six weeks ago, so her new license was already waiting at Baker Street. She spent two days in London visiting galleries and museums. The Tate Modern had always been her favourite. Nearly everything had changed since her last visit, which was both sad and a real blessing – it meant she had a whole new gallery to discover. She sent Róisín a photo of the Rothkos, one of the few things that were still there from her day.

She took the train back to Manchester in the afternoon. It only took 90 minutes – less time than it used to take to get to London from Cardiff. She met up with Róisín after she finished work. Manchester was enjoying an Indian summer, over 20 degrees even in the evening. They caught a train to Didsbury, in the south of the city. They went for a walk in Fletcher Moss Botanical Gardens and got ice creams. Róisín got some on the tip of her nose and asked Sally to lick it off. Once Sally had leaned in close enough, Róisín kissed her.

Sally would have liked to take Róisín to the theatre, but still lacking access to funds other than what the Doctor could lend her, they instead went to an independent cinema and watched a French film about Cézanne. Afterwards they went to a wine bar and ordered the cheap stuff. It was synthetic wine, chemically and olfactorily indistinguishable from well-aged Bordeaux. The experience was exquisite, although apparently purists still poured scorn on the whole concept. It was late by the time they stumbled out happily into the street.

“Your place?” said Róisín. If she was sober, Sally would have insisted on going back to Róisín’s instead. The thought of the two parts of her life colliding together was unappealing. What would Róisín make of the TARDIS? But Sally wasn’t sober. There were other things on her mind, which overrode her common sense.

They reached the phone box, still stood outside _Simply Coffee._ Róisín seemingly didn’t notice it until Sally started fumbling with the lock, and then the Canadian girl found the whole thing extremely funny. Sally got the door open and turned to see her girlfriend leaning against a bollard, gasping for breath in between giggles. That set Sally off, although thankfully not quite as much.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

She had to wait for Róisín to calm down. After a few false starts, she managed to get the words out. “I didn’t see it! At all! It was right in front of me and blue and massive and I didn’t see it AT ALL!”

“You think it’s massive now?” said Sally, suppressing a giggle. “ _Wait_ until you see what I keep inside.”

She helped Róisín upright and they staggered in together. Róisín, of course, found the TARDIS very funny. Sally tried to calm her down, but it was no use, and soon the Doctor was looming.

“You must be Róisín. I’m the Doctor. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. Would you mind keeping it down? I’m trying to catch a blind bog rat, and they’re extremely sensitive to sound.”

“’Bog rat’” said Róisín.

“Is she fit to… you know… come in here?” said the Doctor.

“Don’t worry, Doctor,” said Sally, who realised too late that she was slurring her words. “We have both had a liiiiiittle bit of wine, but we are both completely compass. Cutlass. Compost mendis.”

“ _Compos mentis._ ”

“That’s the one, compos Menzies.”

“Róisín?” She was now sat on the TARDIS floor, giggling quietly as she gawped around the machine. “Róisín, are you in control of your mind?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I’m… this is a really weird shed. I might be hallucinating.”

“I don’t want to be a party pooper,” said the Doctor, “but maybe put her in one of the spare bedrooms until the morning.”

“Boo!” said Róisín.

“Well, that’s definitely going to scare off the bog rat,” said the Doctor, flouncing away.

“Come on, Ró,” said Sally, lifting Ró to her feet. Róisín flicked her nose playfully. They made it down the stairs and through to the corridors where the bedrooms were.

“I think the Doctor’s right,” said Sally. “I think… I think we’re just a little tipsy, but better to be safe than sorry, right? We can always… when we’ve sobered up a bit, you know? Don’t want to do anything we’d regret.”

“I would never regret you, Sally Sparrow,” said Róisin. “But whatever you say.” Róisín pushed into the bedroom next to Sally’s – the name _Clara_ hung on the door. “Good night,” she said.

“Sweet dreams,” said Sally.


	5. Rain

Early in the morning, Róisín crept in next to Sally. Afterwards, they were spooning, and Róisín asked a lot of questions about the TARDIS. Sally came clean. Róisín didn’t seem to mind that Sally had lied to her about the Doctor being her father. After all, if Sally had said almost anything else, including the truth, Róisín would have concluded that he was her sugar daddy and Sally was too embarrassed to admit as much. But now, knowing about the TARDIS, Sally’s evasiveness made sense.

“I know I said you were unbelievably gorgeous, but you’re definitely too good looking to be 82.” Róisín said. “Imagine if you tried to draw your pension looking like that.”

“Wait… I have a pension!” said Sally. That meant, debts or no debts, money would be accruing in her account.

“Oh yeah,” said Róisín. “And do you know about the Citizen’s Dividend?”

“No?”

“So there are taxes, right, on things like ground rents and pollution and cars and drugs? The proceeds of those get divided up. Some of it goes towards tackling the causes of those things, the rest of it gets split evenly between everyone in the country.”

“Oh, neat. What about the government? How do we fund that?”

“There’s still… I think they’re basically the same taxes as in your time. Inheritance tax is 100% now. I don’t pay much attention to politics, if I’m honest. I think income tax is lower than it used to be.”

“And, er, how much is the Dividend?”

“Depends how much is coming in. They pay us weekly on a four-week delay. It’s usually about £250.”

£250! That was £13,000 a year! “And, erm, when did this come in?”

“Not sure. Before I was born, but after my dad moved to Canada, I think. Maybe 2039?”

The numbers in Sally’s head were getting unreasonably high. She must still be drunk. “And how much does a burger cost these days?”

“A burger? About £6. It went up a bit when we switched to plant-based burgers, but then Argentina joined the European Union and prices went down again.” She sat up in bed. “You want to get breakfast?”

“You know it,” said Sally. £6. That was much less inflation than she expected. Maybe the switch to plant-based products meant that a burger wasn’t a good comparison any more – but what would be? Would Róisín know what a Freddo was? 

They dressed and headed to a nearby breakfast café. They shared a stack of American-style pancakes with fresh blueberries. They were soft and fluffy. Sally usually preferred crepes, but Róisín had been used to American-style back in Canada.

“Just a question, Ró,” said Sally. “You’re Canadian, right? If you want to work in space, wouldn’t it make more sense to try and get hired by NASA, or one of the American space companies, rather than coming to the UK?”

“First up, I _love_ that you call me Ró,” she said. “People are usually too busy working out how to pronounce Róisín to give me a nickname. And yeah, there would be a lot of advantages in America, but Houston isn’t right for me. I like public transport and cycle lanes and _history_. And not having to spend half my time being dictated to by religious extremists. And also not having to run air conditioning all summer.”

“You don’t like hot weather?”

“I like vacations in sunny places, but I don’t want to live in one. I’m Canadian!”

“Doesn’t it get hot in your summers?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s much sunnier than here, actually. I think British people don’t realise how far north they are. Toronto is on the same latitude as Florence. It’s not all tundra. But I actually prefer it here. I like the ambience of Manchester, the grey skies and the perpetual rain.”

On cue, a large raindrop splattered against the front window of the café. It was the harbinger of a significant rainstorm, and soon the street was being lashed with rain.

“Cardiff is even worse,” said Sally.

“You lived in Cardiff?”

“I went to university there, then hung around with friends when I graduated and ended up staying there.”

“Until you started travelling with the Doctor.”

“Right.”

“So… where have you been?”

“It’s like I said the first time we met, mostly cultural stuff. Libraries and art galleries and dance recitals. Except right across the universe, rather than just in the UK.”

“You can go anywhere in the universe and you just go to slightly better versions of Earth?” said a sceptical Róisín.

“Where would you want to go, then?” asked Sally.

“Well, the Moon, for starters,” said Róisín. “And then the first permanent Mars colony. Humanity’s first voyage into the stars. I want to see every wonderful thing we do, and all the wonderful creatures out in the universe. I want to swim in alien seas. I want to meet aliens.”

“I’ve met aliens,” said Sally. “Bird people with huge wings who could really fly. Orangutans who understood the Dewey Decimal System. Angry Scotsmen.”

“You know what else would be cool? History. I’d love to go back and meet Aristotle, or get stuck in at Stonewall. Maybe even meet early humans? Sally, you’re sitting on the greatest opportunity in human history and you’re just going to libraries?”

“You’re right, but you’re also very wrong,” said Sally. “The Doctor _has_ given me everything I want. As far as I care, you are the greatest opportunity in human history.”

“Stop, you’re making me blush.”

“Blushing in public? That would never do. _How_ unladylike!”

Róisín threw her head back in mock outrage. “The scandal! No respectable gentleman would associate with a blushing spinster!”

“Fortunately, I have no interest in being a respectable gentleman,” said Sally, smiling.

“Oh, please, I’d be happy to call you my husband,” said Róisín. And then it dawned on her what she had said. Her eyes widened, aghast. “I did not say that.”

“Oh, I’m afraid you did,” said Sally, delighting in Róisín’s embarrassment. “Don’t worry, it’s not the first time someone’s accidentally proposed to me.”

“I wasn’t – I mean, I –,” Róisín did at least see the funny side. “Shut up, Sally Sparrow!” she said, pretending to sulk.

“Have you already picked out the baby names?”

“Actually, yes,” said Róisín. Sally let out a belly laugh as Róisín was caught with her foot in her mouth once again. “You were the one who brought up baby names on a third date!”

“Oh, no, no, don’t go blaming this on me.”

“Look, it’s just… my mum was Irish, and so she named me Róisín. I have a sister Cara and a brother Seán. I want any of my children to have an Irish name, and carry on that heritage. I haven’t thought about… Laoise Sparrow, or anything like that.”

Sally gave Róisín a look, and the younger woman facepalmed, albeit with a huge grin. The rain was still coming down fast, in heavy droplets that battered the tarmac like a thousand drumrolls.

“Oh, crap, look at the time,” said Róisín. “I need to be at _Simply Coffee_ soon. You didn’t bring an umbrella, did you?”

“Sorry,” said Sally. It had been warm enough the previous day that neither of them had thought to bring as much as a coat. Sally had left her towel in the TARDIS despite the Doctor’s instructions in the library. They paid up – Sally used the last of her loose change, and the server looked at her as if she had ridden in on a penny farthing – and braved the downpour. They dashed back to the TARDIS, and managed to get in without being entirely soaked through. Sally found Róisín a towel and a change of clothes, as well as a raincoat - largely to give the appearance that Róisín had come from home.

“You know,” Róisín said, buttoning up the coat, “I’m supposed to be applying for jobs, but once I finish work, I’d much rather spend an evening with you.”

“What about reducing your hours? Give yourself one day a week to apply for jobs, two days off, and four days at the café.”

“Sweetie, those of us who live in the real world have to work to get paid, and we have to get paid to pay the bills.”

“What about the Citizen’s Dividend?”

“That helps, for sure, but… well, do you think my lifestyle comes cheap?”

“I suppose not,” said Sally. “Hopefully you have a good day at work today, and then you’ll have spare energy in the evening.”

“Perhaps,” said Róisín. She gave Sally a peck on the cheek. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Everything should be sorted by then. Even if it isn’t… I wouldn’t miss you for the world.”


	6. A Splendid Day

After saying goodbye to Róisín, Sally went to the bank and was successfully able to prove that she was indeed the owner of her bank account. Her first purchase was an era-appropriate phone, as her old phone couldn’t run the latest version of her bank’s app. Her eyes widened when she saw the balance. She’d had no outgoings in a long time, but had a monthly income from the Citizen’s Dividend which had accumulated a lot of interest. There was also a significant sum of money from Larry, paid in five years ago, and then a transfer out of the same amount to HMRC about three months later. No inheritance any more. Sally didn’t see any state pension payments, and then realised she didn’t have enough years of contributions, and wouldn’t be able to make enough voluntary contributions to make up the rest. Still, the amount of money in the bank came to nearly £800,000.

Sally met Róisín the next morning. It was Róisín’s day off, and Sally had planned a day out together. Róisín knew to bring sun cream and a towel, but that was all. It was a balmy September day without a cloud in the sky. They took a train to Didsbury again, but this time they headed away from the park where they had eaten ice cream. Róisín was very surprised when Sally led her to a waterpark for a morning of kayaking.

“I was expecting you to take me to the ballet, or something,” said Róisín.

“Sorry to disappoint,” said Sally.

“No, it’s a long way from a disappointment. It’s a pleasant surprise. Although maybe I should have brought a change of clothes.”

“Just don’t fall in and we’ll be fine,” said Sally.

They rented a kayak and spent the morning paddling down the River Mersey to Sale. It was greener than Sally had expected. She’d been slightly worried that she’d booked a romantic paddle through a series of industrial estates, but while it wasn’t exactly _wild_ , the banks were verdant, the water was blue, and the sun was shining.

Early on, Sally was excited to see a grey heron lurking by the bank, hidden in the shade of a weeping willow. It flew past them again a few minutes later, before disappearing.

A while later, there was a splashing in the water on the far side of the river. At first Sally thought it might be carp, or perhaps Mersey salmon. Then she saw a flash of brown fur. It was an otter! She tapped Róisín on the shoulder and pointed, but she couldn’t make it out.

As they approached Sale, it was Róisín’s turn to get excited about barely-visible wildlife.

“A kingfisher!” she said, pointing ahead of them. Sally tried to follow her finger, but couldn’t make out so much as a splash of blue.

Sally’s arms were aching when they finally made it to Sale. Someone from the waterpark had come to meet them, and they helped to load the boat onto their vehicle. The two women then stopped for a pub lunch in Sale, which they ate in the garden by the river as they watched swans and geese swim along. Róisín ordered an extra salad, and they stood on the river bank, feeding it to the waiting waterfowl.

It came on to rain quickly after lunch, but fortunately they had finished their outdoor activities. They caught a train to an indoor go-karting track. Róisín turned out to be something of a petrolhead and beat the competition soundly. Despite choosing the event, Sally was less confident. Still, she had a good time, and Róisín was impressed that she didn’t come last.

To finish the day, Sally took Róisín to a crazy golf course in the Trafford Centre. There were ornate steampunk decorations, complete with real hissing steam coming from the mechanical obstacles. The course was fiendishly difficult, but Sally found it a much more cerebral challenge than the physical rigours of kayaking and go-karting.

They headed back to Róisín’s apartment. On the way they stopped at a food stand and purchased falafel for dinner, eating as they walked.

Róisín’s apartment was on the sixth floor – a long climb at the best of times, so they got the lift. They stumbled in and settled down in front of the TV, Róisín throwing a blanket over them as they snuggled together.

Róisín’s place was small, true, but it was immaculate. She had tomatoes growing on her balcony and hanging baskets full of flowers. There was a wine rack embedded in the kitchen wall. An oil painting hung on the wall opposite the bedroom door, a fishing boat caught on a rolling wave under the moon.

“Is that… Gainsborough?” asked Sally, recognising the immaculate brushwork.

“Huh? Oh, no. It’s a Turner. Print, obviously. I love the way the Moon looks there. Some people think it’s spooky, but I’ve always just found it fascinating. It’s a beacon of hope on a dark night.” She pushed her head further up Sally’s shoulder. “Thank you for today. I know what you were doing. I really enjoyed myself, but I would also have enjoyed it if we had done… you know… quiet things.”

“I had fun too,” said Sally. “I wouldn’t want to do that every day, but it was a nice change of pace. I’m going to be sore in the morning.”

“Oh, you have _no_ idea,” said Róisín, her hand drifting to Sally’s thigh.

They watched a couple of episodes of TV before Róisín yawned.

“We should go to bed,” she said.

“Wait,” said Sally. “First, there’s something I want to say.”

Róisín sat up properly and turned to face her. “What is it?”

“OK, so… I have money. And I really like you. I was thinking… what if I moved in here with you?”

“Yes.”

“Wait, you’re not going to accuse me of moving too fast?”

“Well, you _are_ moving too fast. Particularly given how you mocked me the other night. But I want you to live here, Sally.”

“I know it’s a little soon… but I’ve not exactly got a lot of possessions. If things don’t go well I can easily move back in with the Doctor. And if I’m paying half the rent, then you can cut your hours at the café. Maybe start looking for the graduate job you want?”

“I already said yes, Sally.”

“OK, OK… where were we, again?”

“I was taking you to bed.”

“Oh, yes. Lead the way.”


	7. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, there's still going to be feely stuff if that's what you're into, but now the "plot" is going to begin ramping up as well.

When Róisín cut her hours at the café down to two days a week, she managed to also get a role for Sally, doing one day a week while Róisín looked for a new career. That gave them four days a week to spend together.

Sally only really owned one set of clothes, a towel, and a couple of books from Alexandria, so it was easy for her to move out of the TARDIS and into Róisín’s apartment. Her challenge was finding the Doctor. He was never around. She searched for him through the bits of the TARDIS she was familiar with. She stood outside the chippy he seemed to get all his food from for hours on end, but didn’t see him. She visited the “retro” coffee shop that still offered iced skinny pumpkin spice mochas, to no avail. She even checked the local police stations, hospitals, and morgues. In desperation, she tried to bribe homeless people to look out for him, but this plan collapsed when it turned out that Britain had successfully eradicated homelessness through a radical homebuilding project, leaving nobody for her to bribe.

Finally, alternatives exhausted, Sally decided her last option was to explore deep into the TARDIS, the places that she had always avoided going to in case she got lost. She looked through the console room in the hope that there was an infinitely extending rope or something similar she could use to mark her course, but couldn’t find anything. Instead, she headed down the long corridor with all the named bedrooms. She quickly lost count of how many she had passed, and just kept walking until she reached the last few. _Barbara, Ian, Susan._

Sally pushed through the heavy doors at the end of this corridor. This was a bathroom with a white-and-gold colour scheme which Sally found a little gauche. The bath itself seemed to be almost entirely composed of taps. Sally had an en suite in her own room, so hadn’t needed to come this far before.

There was a second door out of the bathroom which led into a walk-in wardrobe which was more like a forest. From there, there was a maze-like pantry full of disorganised jars, a giant swimming pool on which beavers seemed to be constructing some sort of pirate ship, a megafauna zoo with woolly mammoths and triceratops and mice the size of rhinos and plenty more besides. There was a great dining hall where all the chairs span around constantly like fairground teacups. There was a grey spherical room that either had shifting gravity allowing Sally to walk up the walls, or was shifting under her feet. There were cavernous vats bubbling in dark back rooms filled with robots which walked rhythmically but without purpose. There was a music room containing a large collection of guitars, a small collection of recorders, and an even smaller collection of kitchen implements. And then, just when Sally really began to accept that she was going to be walking infinite corridors forever, she found the Doctor, floating parallel to the ground in a featureless white room.

“Doctor?” said Sally. He rolled on the spot until he was facing her, and put a finger to his lips. He righted himself and held his hand out to Sally. She took it. The Doctor pulled Sally out through another door – which, to Sally’s chagrin, opened up onto the main console room! – and then out onto the street.

“Sorry about that,” said the Doctor. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

“So am I,” said Sally, without batting an eyelid.

“I suppose I should explain,” said the Doctor. “You remember I told you to beware the Vashta Nerada? Well, they’ve made it inside the TARDIS?”

“What are the Vashta Nerada, exactly?”

“Oh, they’re like microscopic flying piranhas. Although really piranhas get a bad reputation, like quicksand or ACME, so they’re more like cartoon piranhas.”

“And you saw them?”

“You can’t _see_ the Vashta Nerada, Sally. There are two ways to detect them: one, by noticing shadows without a corresponding light source, and two, by noticing things getting eaten.”

“Have you seen any shadows without a corresponding light source?”

“No… but I didn’t see you for a few days, and I am sure that they ate your books. ”

Sally blinked. Hard. “Doctor, nobody ate my books. I moved them. I moved in with Róisín.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor. “So I was hiding in the zero room for no reason?”

“Afraid so.” There was an awkward moment, before they both tried to speak.

“Well, I have a…”

“Doctor, is it OK that I’m moving in with Róisín?”

“OK? Of course. Unless… wait, have you asked if she’s a Zygon?”

“What’s a… oh no. No, Doctor. First the Silence, then the Vashta Nerada, and now Zygons? You’re seeing monsters in every shadow – _literally_ in every shadow.”

“No, please, trust me, Róisín really _could_ be a Zygon. They’re shapeshifters. There were twenty million Zygons that I helped resettle on Earth in 2013, mostly in Britain. These days they’re successfully integrated into human society, so it doesn’t matter much if Róisín is one. Although Zygons don’t reproduce sexually, so that might be an issue for you.”

“Róisín and I are both cis women,” said Sally.

“Are you? I hadn’t noticed.”

“So, you know, we couldn’t reproduce together anyway. Not without… outside help.”

“Ah, well, maybe in 2021 that would be true, but in the present, with the help of Zygon technology…”

 _Huh._ “Well, thanks, Doctor, but it isn’t really any of your business.”

“No, you’re right, I shouldn’t have stuck my oar in where it doesn’t belong. Although I am helping a young Zygon called Champion with… never mind,” he said, noticing the look on Sally’s face. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m keeping busy. I don’t mind sticking around here for a bit while you see where things go with Róisín. Do you need anything? There are lots of tricks you can do with time travel to earn a basically infinite amount of money.”

“I think I’ve already basically used one of them,” said Sally. “The cost of living is really low when you spend forty-five years not living at all.”

“Ideally you would do some scheme like Kerblam’s. Take the money you have now, go back and invest it wisely in 2021, cash in your investments in 2121, and then deposit in 2021 again. Repeat that a few times and you have billions to burn.”

“I have a plan, Doctor, don’t worry. I don’t need any time travel money. Róisín even got me a job in the café to keep me occupied.”

“Right. Good. So I’ll stick around here, keeping Manchester safe and helping local Zygons, until you feel like you’re absolutely certain that you want to live your life here.”

“Sounds good.”


	8. Autumn

In the forty years that Sally had been away, Hallowe’en had become as popular in Manchester as it was in the US. Róisín bought them a couple’s costume that Sally didn’t understand, but didn’t otherwise find objectionable. They went to a house owned by a rich university friend of Róisín’s for a Hallowe’en Party. Sally invited the Doctor, and was pleasantly surprised when he not only agreed to come, but dressed up as a mad scientist, his hair stood up on end.

The three of them got the metro to Hazel Grove. Róisín’s friend Polly had really made an effort. The front of her house was covered in fake cobwebs, and jack-o-lanterns lined the front path. Róisín knocked on the door for them.

Polly opened up. She was about Róisín’s age and clearly of sub-continental descent. “Róisín! So glad you made it! And these must be your friends I have heard so much about!” She spoke with a Lancashire accent that Sally found fairly soft.

“Hi Polly,” said Róisín. “This is my girlfriend, Sally, and our friend the Doctor.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Sally.

“Pleasure,” said the Doctor.

“Come on in, the party’s just getting started!” said Polly.

They went in and split up, talking to different people while the music blared. Sally enjoyed meeting new people, but after a little while, she started to feel worn out. She was talking to an old friend of Róisín’s called Mo, and his new theyfriend, Clyde. Clyde was an agricultural geneticist and Mo was an edaphologist.

“I study interactions between living things and soil, basically,” he explained when Sally looked blankly at him.

“Why soil?” Sally asked.

“Well… honestly, Róisín put me on that path. I was going to be a geologist, but at uni she was… you know this already… she was obsessed with the Moon. She knew all the technical details of the Shackleton base before it was even announced. When you’re around someone as passionate and infectious as that, it shapes the way you look at the world. I think most of us decided we wanted to be part of Shackleton because of her.”

Sally was genuinely interested in this, but she was starting to really tire now. Clyde seemed to notice this. “Hey, er, you know there’s a quiet room for people who need to recharge their batteries, right?” they said.

“I didn’t know that,” said Sally. “Where is it?”

They got Róisín’s attention and went through to a small sitting room in the back where the music was barely audible. They sat in a circle.

“So,” said Clyde. “It’s Hallowe’en. Does anybody want to hear a ghost story?”

At that moment, the Doctor burst in. “Sally! There you are. Oh, hello. I’m the Doctor. What are we doing in here?”

“Clyde was about to tell a ghost story,” said Mo.

“Oh, I’m great at ghost stories,” said the Doctor. “You want a really spooky story? Well, this one time I was visiting an island off the coast of Alaska…”

And the Doctor spun a tale of mysterious ancient cyclopean structures that weren’t built to human proportions, text in an unknown script which drove half its readers insane, and Eldrich abominations from before the dawn of time that could snuff out humanity without even noticing that they had done it. Róisín was enrapt, and Sally, initially sceptical, soon found herself being carried away by the Doctor’s words, forgetting all about the party. When the Doctor finally finished, Clyde had fallen asleep, while Mo looked like he would never sleep again, his facial features frozen in fear. Róisín waved a hand in front of his face and he swatted it away.

“That was terrifying,” he said.

“Yes, well, don’t worry, it was just a story. It was much worse for me, I was there when it happened.”

“What?”

“Doctor,” said Sally. “It’s late. Maybe we should leave.”

***

The five of them saw each other again just a week later. On Bonfire Night, they went to a fireworks display in the local park wrapped up in their thick winter coats, woolly hats, and scarves. Sally and Róisín were eating low-calorie toffee apples – a nano layer of sugar coated the apple, giving it the same taste as toffee apple with much less sugar – when Róisín spotted Mo and led Sally over to him. Mo seemed very happy to see them. He had come with Clyde, who had gone to look at the food stands.

“If I go near then I’ll end up indulging myself,” Mo said. “Easiest if I stay away and let them buy what they want.”

“Come on,” said Róisín. “It’s a celebration!”

“A celebration of what? I don’t care about Guy Fawkes. He died hundreds of years before I was born. Before my grandparents even came to this country.” 

“It’s a chance to be with friends, then!”

“And I can do that without eating junk.”

Róisín dropped it. And then Clyde came over to them. He was holding a large portion of pink candyfloss and had fluorescent green tubes around his neck and wrists. With him… he hadn’t been invited, but it was a public space, so he had come anyway. The Doctor was holding a newspaper funnel full of chips, and had gone overboard with the glowsticks, which he wore stacked around his neck and down both his arms.

“Look! It’s Clyde! From Hallowe’en!” said the Doctor.

“Have you been eating candyfloss?” said Sally, sternly.

“Just a little bit!”

“He’s going to be up all night,” Sally said, rolling her eyes.

The fireworks started. They were huge explosions of colour that spread across the sky, fizzling and shimmering in ways that fireworks never used to when Sally was a kid. They were fired from mortars which were automatically operated by a computer. The result was impressive, but Sally found it a little sterile. She was sure it was much safer, but Sally thought the display lost something of the unpredictability and edge that manually lit rockets used to give. Her young companions teased her when she voiced this view – the sterility of automatic mortars was nothing compared to the consistent quality they gave compared to rockets. The Doctor, for his part, spent the entire display giggling in uncharacteristic delight. It was unsettling at first, and then endearing.

***

“How long do you think the Doctor is going to stick around?” Róisín asked over dinner – a quick bowl of soup to warm them up before bed.

“Not sure,” said Sally. “I think he has a few things on in the city. He’ll probably be on his way once that all wraps up.”

“And you’re OK with that?”

“I can’t expect him to hang around here forever. He has to live his own life,” Sally said, gathering up the bowls. Róisín sighed to herself. That wasn’t what she’d meant.


	9. Christmas

Sally popped round to the TARDIS on Christmas morning, wrapped up in her winter clothes. She’d been to a Christmas market a few days beforehand with Róisín and had bought the Doctor a bottle of mulled wine and a blackthorn plant.

The Doctor was reading in the console room when Sally popped in.

“Merry Christmas, Doctor,” she said cheerily.

“Merry Christmas, Sally,” the Doctor said. He was slightly downcast and was making a poor but definite attempt to hide it.

“What’s the matter?” Sally said. “I brought you some presents.”

The Doctor took the bag and looked in. “Mulled wine and sloe gin. Perfect. I shall save these for a special occasion.” He looked back at Sally. “Christmas is just a bit of a tough time. It lends itself to reflection, and reflection isn’t always positive. But I don’t want to be a downer – what are your plans?”

“Well, Róisín’s parents are coming over for a few days.”

“Ah, yes, I remember,” said the Doctor. Sally had invited the Doctor to theirs a few weeks ago, but he had declined, saying he would prefer to stay out of the way. “I have got everything ready for them.”

“Wait… what?”

“I know, hard to believe, but you don’t make it to my age – whatever that may be – without knowing how to prepare an amazing Christmas dinner.”

“I wasn’t expecting… no, sorry, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Table for five people, all vegetarian, ready for 1pm?”

“On the dot.”

“Excellent, Doctor, thank you so much for doing this, you’re a lifesaver.”

Sally headed back to the flat where Róisín was tidying up. “Change of plan,” Sally said. “The Doctor’s cooking. We’re eating in the TARDIS.”

“Oh, thank f- flying goodness. That saves a lot of embarrassment. Although it also creates a lot of extra embarrassment. How are we going to explain to them?”

“You told them the Doctor was my biological father who I have only connected to late in life?”

“That’s what you told me to say.”

“Yes, great, thanks. Well, he’s an eccentric inventor who has cooked Christmas dinner. There, easy.”

“Easy,” Róisín repeated. “My parents are on the train. They’ll be at Piccadilly in half an hour. I need to go and meet them.”

“I can come too,” said Sally.

“You need to get the rest of the presents round to the Doctor for lunch,” Róisín said, grabbing her things and rushing out the door. “Try to make the place look… normal. See you soon. Love you.”

 _She loves me_. Sally thought. _Oh my god. She loves me._

 _Well, of course she loves you._ This was a more sensible voice. _She’s your girlfriend. You’ve been seeing each other for other three months. You live together. You love her. Of course she loves you._

Sally heard this sensible voice and dismissed it. This gave her a burst of feeling loved, and she was smiling as she swaggered down to the TARDIS again. She helped lay the table, which had been set in a remarkably ordinary dining room that she’d never been in before, even though it was just off the console room. Sally wondered whether the Doctor had rearranged the arrangement of rooms, changing the entire layout of his TARDIS to suit Christmas dinner with the uninitiated. With the TARDIS, anything was possible, or so it seemed.

“Doctor,” Sally said, “this is my first time meeting Róisín’s parents, and I really want to make a good impression.”

“Way ahead of you,” said the Doctor. “I’ve just got off the phone with Audrey, and she’s happy to pretend to be Róisín’s girlfriend in front of her parents.”

“Audrey?! As in… never mind. No. I am going to do this myself. I want to have a good relationship with Róisín’s parents. I don’t need any zany schemes, time travel shenanigans, or any famous actor imposters. I just… I’m not worried about _me_ , I’m worried about you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, I don’t care what they think of me.”

“Yes, and that’s the problem! I want you to do your best to seem like a respectable member of polite society. Or failing that, just an ordinary bloke who tries to be nice to people at Christmas.”

“What’s brought this on? I am extremely charming. I once charmed a whole army into… wait. I’m confusing “charming” and “intimidating” again, aren’t I? OK, I see the issue now. Fine. For you, Sally Sparrow, I will be your charming estranged biological father. I’ll even have a sympathetic backstory – I was kidnapped by nuns, who wanted…”

“ _No._ ”

“You haven’t heard the best bit!”

“You were not kidnapped by nuns. You were a frequent anonymous sperm donor who wasn’t even told when his sperm was used. You were a high-achiever at school. You played cricket for Oxford University-“

“Cambridge, actually, I was a master of spin.”

“- and you spent a year abroad at some equally impressive institution. You spent years working as an engineer for various technology companies. Shortly after you retired you heard from me and we’ve been travelling across Britain together ever since.”

“None of that explains why the nuns kidnapped me.”

“There. Were. No. Nuns.”

“Ah, the old _self-_ kidnap. I understand now.”

At that moment Sally’s phone rang. It was extremely fortunate, as Sally had no desire to become a murderer on Christmas Day. It was Róisín.

“I’ve got Mom and Dad. I was wondering if you could meet us outside _Simply Coffee_? I think it might, you know… make things easier.”

“Right, sure, I’ll wait for you.”

“We’re going to be another ten minutes or so, don’t wait in the cold on our account.”

Of course, that was exactly what Sally did. She stood out in the street on Christmas Day. Her fingers and ears went numb from the cold. She wished that she had worn gloves. She hopped about on the spot, trying to get her blood flowing and keep herself warm. And as her mind began to wander to thoughts of hot water bottles and curling up by the fire, she didn’t notice Róisín and her parents until they were right in front of her.

“Mom, Dad, this is Sally, my girlfriend,” said Róisín. Róisín, who loved Sally. _Be still, my heart,_ Sally thought.

“Hello, Merry Christmas, so nice to meet you,” said Sally, a little flustered to have been caught unaware. She shook hands with Mr and Ms Murray, smiling as convincingly as she could manage.

“Merry Christmas Sally,” said Mr Murray. “Call me Jacob.”

“Niamh,” said Róisín’s mother. “And I must say, when Róisín told us she was dating an older woman, I wasn’t expecting you to be quite so pretty.”

“ _Mom_ ,” said Róisín, blushing.

“I do my best,” said Sally. She was relieved that the Doctor wasn’t going to be the only person at the table prepared to put their foot in it.

“So we’re having Christmas dinner at your father’s, Sally?” said Jacob, clearly trying to move the conversation on.

“Yes. Has Róisín told you about his love of illusion?”

“She mentioned it, yes.”

“Right, well… come in.”

Sally unlocked the TARDIS and let the Murrays in. They muttered in disbelief.

“This is incredible,” said Niamh.

“I don’t… is this underground? It must be. Wow. Amazing job.”

“Thanks,” said the Doctor, strolling through into the console room. “Hello, I’m the Doctor. Come in, dinner is ready.”

And so the Murrays, Sally, and the Doctor had a delightful Christmas dinner together. The food lived up to all expectations. The Doctor was plainly a fabulous cook, and made particularly good Yorkshire Pudding.

Things derailed slightly when they pulled their crackers. The Doctor loved it, wearing both his hat and Róisín’s (she had worn novelty reindeer antlers). The Doctor even enthusiastically insisted they all read their jokes.

“What,” said Jacob, reading from his joke, “do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?”

“ _Frostbite_ ,” the humans chimed in unison.

“I swear these jokes used to be funnier,” said the Doctor.

“I think that’s the point of cracker jokes,” said Niamh. “They’re deliberately unfunny so that everyone complains about them, rather than some people feeling excluded.”

“No, I remember laughing out loud at a few of them. These days they’re just terrible.”

“Well, maybe it isn’t the jokes that have changed,” said Niamh. “We all grow and change through our lives.”

“Not me, I’m physiologically and temporally incapable of meaningful change.”

“Perhaps you underestimate yourself,” said Niamh. “When I met Jacob he was a tearaway, now he’s a father of two. Responsibility changes people. _Time_ changes people. Are you the same as you were fifty years ago?”

“Yes, almost exactly,” said the Doctor.

“You didn’t learn anything in your career or your life?”

“Of course, but that was… ah, ahem. You’re right, I have learned a lot. Mostly from travelling. I spent a year studying in France when I was at university.”

“Ah, France? _Parlez-vous bien francais?_ ” said Jacob.

“ _Oui, j'ai appris à parler conversationnellement et maintenant je peux parler comme si j'étais un francophone d'origine,_ ” said the Doctor.

Jacob stared back blankly. “Well, I’m afraid you’ve already found the limits of _my_ French, Doctor.”

They had dessert – a choice of Christmas pudding or plum pie. Jacob and Niamh shared their puddings, and spoon-fed each other. Sally looked at Róisín, who rolled her eyes with a smile. The Doctor paid no mind to anyone else. He was very much the third wheel – or perhaps, rather, the fifth wheel.

After dinner they exchanged presents. The Doctor had bought Sally a bean bush, and for Róisín, an electronics kit and soldering iron. Practical things to do, hobbies that would help pass the time.

When it was time for them to leave, Sally lingered.

“Thanks, Doctor. The presents are wonderful, and you mostly did a good impression of a human.”

“I try my best.”

“Doctor… you don’t want to be doing this, do you?”

“What do you mean, Sally?”

“Well… I want to live my life the slow way, the ordinary way. You’ve hung around because you feel some sort of obligation, but by now you’ve fixed every problem in Manchester, if not further afield. You don’t want to sit around in one place. It’s just not how you are. And as I spend more and more time with Róisín, you’re spending more and more time on your own. It’s not healthy, Doctor. Please, don’t sit here forever as a service to me. Go and find someone else to have adventures with. Rediscover the fun of life. You can always pop in to see us, if you’re still worried. I’ll always be happy to see you. But I’d be much happier if I knew that you were choosing to see me because you want to, rather than forcing yourself to out of some sense of obligation.”

“Sally, I’m functionally immortal. I’m not missing out on anything by spending a few months hanging around here. A few months is a rounding error.”

“And you’ve done a few months. But you’re a Time Lord. You live in a time machine. Having you tethered to one place – it’s wrong. Thank you for sticking around, but… just do one thing for me. Go on a trip. One trip. And if it doesn’t give you a desire to stay out there in the universe, then you can come back and stay here for as long as you like. Go and find Marilyn or Elizabeth or whoever and have a picnic, or foil an invasion, or whatever you want to do. You’ve earned it.”

“Fine, I’ll do it, but don’t expect me to enjoy myself. See you later, Sally.”

“Goodbye, Doctor.”

Sally left the TARDIS, where Róisín and her parents were waiting. Róisin had left her antlers inside, sensibly judging that they were too ridiculous to wear on the street.

“Right then, let’s get back home. Anyone for Scrabble?”

There was an almighty roar, that wonderful wheezing sound, a burst of wind that blew their hair back, and the TARDIS disappeared.


End file.
